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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Looking back, looking forward

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3 years ago I was working at Roy's Restaurant as a manager. I was working crazy hours, non-stop. Nights, weekends, 60 hour work weeks, food galore. I had my eye on the prize...I would work my way up to partnering my own restaurant. I was living in North Hollywood, eating out at 2 am, staying up all night and working all day and having a grand time doing it.


2 years ago I had almost an inch of hair. I had just completed 6 rounds of chemo and was waiting to start 7 weeks of radiation. I had moved to back to Orange County and spent time adjusting the excel spreadsheet that had my life plan. I was living in a new place, with a new job, and a new view. I had my eye on the prize... I just needed to figure out a way to get a ring on my finger. :) I was happy. I was confident. I felt the most calm, cool and collected I have ever felt in my life.


1 year ago I was newly engaged and beaming. I was a hazard to other cars on the road because I would get easily distracted by the shiny on my finger. I was 5 months out from completing treatment and I was taking medication that gave me what seemed like months long hot flashes. I started a new excel spreadsheet for both the wedding and the honeymoon. I spent a lot of time spontaneously clapping.

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Today. What can I say about today?

I am 4 days away from marrying the most wonderful man. He balances me. He gets me. It feels as if the whole world is before me and I can go any direction I want. I'm just trying to slow time, I want to soak it all in. I look forward to our future. A future filled with home cooking....done by B... while I read a book and sip champagne.... after he has bathed the children and put them to bed...and sits down to massage my feet....or you know, something like that. Sorta.

Is it just me or is time literally flying by? I have to go breathe into a paper bag now.

How did you feel days before your wedding?

(First and last shots courtesy of Adrienne Gunde)


  1. LOL! I love your view of your future. :) It just might happen. You never know. (Or maybe you do.)

    Days before my wedding? I don't think I've ever been as calm and cool and quietly happy. Three adjectives that don't describe me very well. (I'm generally happy, but I don't do "quiet" happy well.) :) It felt like everything was moving forward in the way that it should... as it was meant to be. Seriously, I couldn't be bothered too much over the details... my SIL's and everybody else was taking care of things and I just let them. :)

    Have I told you how happy and excited I am for you?

  2. 4 DAYS!!! We are all so excited...but not as excited as you and B.

    I don't honestly remember how I felt just before my wedding but I would guess it wasn't calm as that was not my "normal" in those days. But it has been almost 25 years so that seems like the dim past. When we hit the 25 year mark next May HHBL and I will have been married as long as we were not married, if you get that.

  3. We're all clapping for you now, and caught up in the big adventure. Yes, it's a lot of ground covered in three years. I guess B. could take over the blogging as well when you're married, just so that you don't exert yourself too much? The counter on your site could change to how many bottles of champagne you've had so far.

  4. Oh, my dear ...
    It is so great to be able to share in your life just a bit, especially now as you are just days away from becoming Mrs. B.
    I'm so glad that you are taking the time to look back at all you've done and been through ... And how you're goals and dreams have changed. Puts things in a better perspective.
    I'm standing and clapping for you, Dawn. You have come a long way in 3 years and have shown just what you are made of ... Strength and courage, grace and intelligence!

  5. Wow, it's almost here! I guess I was a whirlwind days before my wedding but just remember to savor and enjoy every little thing. Such wonderful pictures of you guys and Congratulations!!! I am so excited for you. I hope everything goes smoothly and you have a fantastic time in New Zealand.

  6. Awww, how sweet! I'm so excited for you, and pray your day is exceptionally blessed. The best years are yet to come. :)

  7. Since it wasn't too long ago, I can still remember how I felt! In a word, tired. BUT excited, and happy too! Pretty much how I feel for you right now....excited and happy!

    Be well my dear! ~Andrea~

  8. I can't stop clapping since I read your excited and happy for you! ox

  9. So so so excited for you! Four days! I know your wedding will be amazing :)

  10. Oh my goodness!! I'm so glad you stopped by my blog...'cuz now I've found such an amazing time in your life!!

    I loved reading this post...and, from me to you...enjoy your wedding day.

    Soak it in, bathe in it, revel in it, memorize's over so fast!

    And, enjoy marriage, and all it has to offer! It's ups and downs, the easy times and the hard times--it all makes us who we are!! Congrats early!!

  11. **ENORMOHUG**

    I'm just so happy for you.

    And what Mama M. said... revel in it!

  12. Celebrating with you as you celebrate life.

  13. Amazing story, amazing couple, amazing pictures. I wish you both all the best & you darn well deserve it!!

    oh, the days before my wedding.. 30+ years ago. I was in a fog, much like I spend most of my days.. lol. -Tammy

  14. Love Love Love this post!

    4 days before my wedding I was excited- I was more calm then most because I knew in my heart of hearts that God had picked this man out just for me... That was 20 something years ago. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. We really are just two halves that make up a whole. He gets me, I get him.

    I'm quite sure you guys have the same thing going for you~♥

    So just relax and enjoy the ride~It's all good. :)

    Have fun!

  15. time ISSSS flying! i am SOOO excited for you, i can't wait to hear all about it and see pictures (there better be pictures!!). I am not married yet, but i can only imagine what it'll feel like days before and after!

  16. I am so excited for you Dandy. It is funny that as each year passes we have to adjust our life's time flies by my spreadsheet flew out the window...and i love it! no more planning each move, living in the moment, I am more content then I have ever been...and honestly life is so damn good when you take a back seat and enjoy the ride! Congrats to you for figuring it out...I will skip the whole 4 days before me wedding..cause well, err...awkward! :) happy day to you my dear!

  17. EEEE! I'm getting butterflies for you! The big day is only FOUR days away! How about another exclamation point for you?! I love that first picture of the two of you. You look so in love and happy. And I wish you that exact vision you have of your future together, especially the part where B does all the work and massages your feet! Hehe.

    I think when it's my turn I will probably be jumping up and down like a little bean. I'll have to call off caffeine because when I'm nervous I get the shakes. But it'll all be out of happiness.

  18. What a great post! So thoughtful and sweet. Just remember to slow down and take it all in. My life has only gotten better with my husband after 18 yrs. of marriage. He is truly my best friend and that is what I hope for you.

  19. Enjoy the next three days! In my opinion, time has only gone by faster since we got married. I remind myself to live it all one day at a time!

  20. Oh what a fun post... I can't believe the big day is nearly here!!!

    I was a calm wreck four days before... sound like an oxymoron? Well... yeah... calm cause I knew he was the man for me... a wreck because it was such a huge thing to do... GET MARRIED.

    I hope you enjoy these last couple of days... I'll be thinking of you often and know it's going to be just beautiful!! And so are you!

  21. The last few days before our wedding were so full of family and friends and love! It was an emotional whirlwind. But the day of, I was absolutely giddy-but-calm all day. It sounds cliche, but it's true: it goes by so fast!

    But as much fun as our wedding was, the important thing is marrying the right person. The wedding is not The Event, it's just another beginning! Good luck and congratulations!

  22. Love this post and the pictures!! Days before my wedding, I was nervous. Then from the time on woke up on the big day til the time it was done, I was calm and blissful. I loved my dress, my hair, my cake, my church, my man. :o)
    It was perfect! And yours will be too. Couldn't be more over the moon for you!

  23. What a great post! So glad to have these snapshots of your life! Sipping champagne, letting him cook & bathe the children? We really are kindred spirits. Are you sure I didn't give birth to you?!


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