Call me Lady Luck (the diagnosis- part 1)

The first thing everyone wants to know is how I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Every time I tell this story I am reminded of how incredibly lucky I am... seriously.

It was April of 2007 and I went to the obgyn for something unrelated to any breast issue. They did the standard breast exam, told me I was fine and sent me on my way. I was sure they were wrong about the issue I had gone in for, so I stopped at the community health center by my parents house.

I remember the doctor going over the same spot on my left breast several times. "Do you feel this here? It might not be anything but I'd like to make an appointment for you to have a mammogram."

OK, I thought. How weird, I'm only 27, I've never had a mammo before. What is she feeling? I don't feel anything. I have no idea how long its been there because I rarely do a self-exam and even if I did I couldn't feel what she is trying to point out.

I went home and told my mom and she had that shocked Oh-my-God look. I was surprised by this because I wouldn't consider her overly worrisome. Perhaps it was the maternal instinct kicking in.

At that point I made another appointment to go back to my obgyn. I repeated what the doctor at the clinic suggested. Now this is a very highly recommended doctor I had. She spent a great deal of time with me and seemed very thorough. I trusted her. So here I was back on the table. She laughed as she went over the left breast. "Please tell me they didn't find something in this breast. You are young, you have very dense breasts and there is nothing out of the ordinary here. Don't waste your time or money going to that mammo."

I felt triumphant. I hadn't been losing any sleep over it but I thought my mom would be glad to hear the news. But she didn't seem all that relieved. "I don't know Dawn, you already have the mammo appointment, you might as well just go."

Sigh. All these appointments are such a nuissance. Little did I know I would spend the better part of 2 years back and forth between them.

In the waiting room I watched woman after woman leave the office after being told they would be contacted with results. But after my mammo they asked me to sit back down...and not to change.

I thought, Ugh, I have somewhere to be and this office is freezing. Why do they keep these offices so freezing? Please relax while you place your freezing breast on our freezing machine and hold your breath until you hear the beep. How can anyone relax in this climate?

The changing room in places like this are always interesting. Bunched up in below zero temperatures are women trying to appear relaxed as they sit topless, clutching the paper-thin wrap and flipping thru copies of Better Homes and Gardens from 3 years ago. In defense of this office they had a binder full of comics about mammograms and the general unpleasantness involved. It was very entertaining! It is where I first witnessed the manogram.

A very nice lady told me they would like to do an ultra sound. To be honest, this didn't worry me because I was young and had dense breasts and I could totally understand if they couldn't see anything in my little size A breasts. The alarm did start sounding when she left to get a doctor and they silently looked at the screen. They zoomed in, they took digital measurements and they left to go talk to someone else.

Oh geez, I hope I don't have to do anything involving needles. I can't believe they warm the ultrasound gel here. Thats so cool! I wonder what those buttons do. Can I put my arm down now? How long will I be laying here?

The doctor came in to tell me that they still weren't sure what it was. They wanted to do a Ultrasound guided Core Needle Biopsy. There it was... the needle word. Core NEEDLE biopsy.

I didn't know what it was but I was sure I wouldn't like it.

(to be continued)

Part Two: The Bobobsy

Part Three: 2 Letters and a Muffin Top