Friday, October 9, 2009

Love handles and double chins


I'm not sure if you know this about me.... but I like to eat. I love food. I don't even have a favorite food I love it so much. Unless breadchocolatecheese counts as a food.

B and I have bonded over our love for all things delicious (and some things just weird) and it is a major part of our lives. I'm sure this is shocking to you. I'm all about ground-breaking news.

A few of you have expressed how lucky I am to be so small! Some of you have asked what I do that keeps me from gaining weight. I love you for it, by the way. But I must say that I am not one of those women with fantastic genes that can eat whatever she wants without gaining a pound.


I learned this the hard way of course. B, the big jerk, can eat total crap and be completely thin and healthy. I'm serious. When we worked in the restaurant together the prep ladies would save the skins from the chicken breast for him. He would then take the chicken skins and fry them... FRY them (did you hear that?!)sometimes in duck fat, season and eat them. A plate of fried chicken skin as a snack.

He weighs less now then he did in high school. Don't even try and tell me his metabolism will change when he gets older as he is fast approaching his 25 year reunion. His blood work is perfect and he doesn't have any scary cholesterol badness. In his defense, I will say that he doesn't eat like that everyday (because I won't let him) and that he mountain bike rides often.

Where was I going with this before my rant about the jerk? I mean, the love of my life. I think I was trying to explain that although B and I eat together, I gain the weight and he does not.

It was hard for a while. I gained about 30 lbs working in the restaurant and indulging in my food obsession with B. Did I mention that I'm 4'11"? Then I lost some. Then I gained some back. Then I had chemo and gained more.

Family Summer 07 003
I use this picture as inspiration to exercise. I was not at my heaviest here and this isn't even the worst picture I have! Everything was tight. My skin felt like it was stretching. My toes looked like little sausages. I couldn't comfortably cross my legs. I had more than enough love (handles) to spread around. My cupeth was overflowing. Heck, everything was overflowing.

One week after I finished chemo (November of 2007) I went down to Weight Watchers and started their program. I lost 25 lbs and have been a weight watcher ever since. I go in and weigh because I like the personal accountability. I need to think to myself.. don't go crazy you have to weigh in!

I weigh in on Saturday mornings, eat what I want during the weekend and lose the weight during the week by eating healthy. This may not be the best way to go about it but it works for me. I cannot stick to something that does not allow me to engage in the passionate parts of my life. Those parts being 1) bonding with B and 2) breadchocolatecheese. Now I weigh in once a month but only because Saturdays seem to be wedding event days and I haven't made it a priority.

Its always a work in progress. During the week I journal my food and count my points. I trade a workout for a spoonful of peanut butter and chocolate. I weigh myself more than I should. My point is that I do work at it. I can usually tell you just about everything I've eaten at any given moment in the day.

This is my niece Makayla and I last summer.

I will say that I am in an extremely small clothing size. I get excited every time I see that size. I am not the girl that is small and thinks she is fat. I buy clothes and consider framing the tag. BUT I'm such a mush. How is it that I can wear this small size and have rolls and love handles?! I have back cleavage and bra marks. I work hard to buy the right kind of clothes to complement my body shape and size, to cover what needs to be covered.

So now I'm back to working out like I should be. I hate the gym. If I get there and the machine I want has someone on it, I just go home. I need someone there to motivate me. I have to take classes. Don't even get me started on running. I wish I could be one of those people who need to do it. Whoever you are... I think you are sick and I am hoping to catch whatever that sickness is. Please contaminate me.

What do you do to get in some exercise? How do you stay motivated?


  1. That's what I need to do (stick to something that I can be consistent at). What I SHOULD do is walk for about an hour a few times a week while my kids are at soccer practice. But, I also love the quietness at being home alone while they are all gone. Is that selfish? LOL

    But, you are beautiful, either way!! :)

  2. Oh you START with the lovely picture of food and then we have to talk about weight and exercise. I vowed years ago that I would never again diet in the way that it is defined here in the USA. It became an unhealthy obsession for me. I watch what I eat, sometimes I watch too much of it go into my mouth but not too often. I work out 4-5 times per week, usually treadmill or walking with the "walking ladies" (where I am going in about an hour, despite the rain). And I remind myself that I am 49 and not 19 and to cut myself some slack.

  3. You're the third person I know who has been successful with Weight Watchers. Hmm, maybe I really should consider joining... You look really great in that pic with your niece!

    I used to be uber-fit --swimming 20 laps at least 3x a week. Swimming is the best (and easiest) way for me to keep fit. Now, if I can just get my butt out the door and to our clubhouse (which is just downstairs!) at least 3 mornings a week...

  4. I think you are just too cute. My mom is peeking over my shoulder reading and we both agree're adorable. Anyway to keep fit, I run or do the eliptical machine. I try to make it to the gym at least 3 times a week. I actually get on the machines when I go;) If I was there, we'd work it girl. Just keep doing what you are doing. It obviously is working great for you. You are going to look so good on your BIG DAY:)

  5. I'm convinced that people who claim to be "addicted" to running or other exercise are just keeping up the lie to themselves so they can keep doing it! That being said, I have a walk/jog scheduled into every weekday morning before work and it does make a difference in my day when I miss it. And some mornings it is a big trial to get moving, because me going on a walk/jog entails not only getting myself up (and dressed, contacts in, etc) but also getting my 2.5 year old and my 15 month old bundled up and in the double stroller! Luckily they love it, and most of the time if I'm having a morning where I can't really get motivated, they start whining about going on a "cereal jog" (what my toddler calls it, because they usually eat breakfast cereal in the stroller!) so we end up out the door one way or the other. Until winter. I don't know what I'm going to do for the winter.

    My mom is also a weight watchers success story - she lost 60 pounds about six years ago and has kept it off this whole time. I think they have a good balanced view of making "lifestyle" changes (that you can live with!) rather than just dieting. Congrats on your success - it's a lot of work, but you look beautiful!

  6. So much easier for me run out the front door and just keep going than it is for me to drive to the gym. I was never a runner, but I started doing long walks and then just felt a little more motivated to go a little further, faster. I'm up to 5 miles a day, but have a goal to do a half marathon, so I gotta keep going! You look great, can't wait to see you as a bride!

  7. Oh, lord, exercise? I'm going to pretend you didn't ask about that and go back to thinking about a nap. Yeah, a nap sounds much better than exercise :)

  8. I wish I could motivate myself to change. At this stage in my life it's difficult not only to find the time but the motivation like you said to find something interesting. We don't even have enough community pools in our area and we live in the desert. Go figure. I would love it if I had a pool, I would love the pool exercise since it is refreshing and easier on your joints the more you age.

    For now I try to watch what I eat and do what I can when I can.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  9. You definitely look great! I'm all about framing the tags to clothing. Especially considering that I had a baby 9 months ago, and I'm almost two jean sizes smaller than I was when I got pregnant. I wish I could say I exercise an awesome routine, but in reality I don't do much of it - when the weather was nice I walked daily. I would like to flatten the extra inches of skin that stretched so I do some crunches from time to time. The real deal? Lactation. TMI, I know, but it works in my current situation so I'm not complaining. ;)

  10. I have to say I love Weight Watchers because it doesn't feel like a diet, it is just a lifestyle change.

    I can't believe how many of you have an exercise routine! I like this whole lactating thing... 2 sizes smaller.. I would lactate for a decade if I were you ;)

  11. You know I have always thought that the term "love handles" sounded too pleasant for its actual meaning :) Haha,OK, back to the point. Wow, I admire you for the dedication to eating healthy during the week oh and doing Weight boss actually always talks about her weigh ins and how she doesn't eat before them :) I need to try something like that or have some motivation to exercise because lately I've been making too many excuses for myself.

  12. Thank you for being honest...this was a great post for us girls...and I applaud you for making changes that benefit your health and yet you still love to eat! I have a dog, a big dog that acts like a manian if he doesn't get walked...therefore i walk...oh and I have that sickness you are talking about...come over I will contaminate you anytime! :) happy weeken Dandy.

  13. Uhm, yeah that would be "acts like a maniac" and that would be weekend! sheesh I have some FAT fingers today!

  14. you cute thing you!!

    He ate fried chicken SKIN? SKIN? No words...

    Um working out? Is that that thing you do when you go try to get in shape so you sweat a lot? Yeah... um. For starters, I chase two of the busiest, bossiest, hoodlums on the planet 24-7 while I home school them.

    But seriously... I try to swim one night a week- I used to do more, but I just cant seem to fit it in any longer with all our extracurricular activities! And I walk (used to run) a three mile loop one to two times a week. (again, used to be more...) And that's it on the exercise end.

    As for eating... I do what you do- I journal every item that goes into my mouth, and I watch it... and I weight every day. Once a day only, and I write that down in my food journal, so I can keep track. It's good motivation, as well you know!

  15. My husband bought us a treadmill, so that we could run anytime.

    I always hate to start, but once I do I feel great. I have to hang on to that feeling.

    I also weight myself daily. I have a little bit on you in the height department (5'4"), but such a small frame that every pound shows. If I weigh daily it is a reminder of what I need to be doing and also I catch my weight before I look in the mirror and realize that 10 pounds has snuck up ( or 20). I learned that the hard way.

  16. I met my fiance at the gym (recently posted installment 1 of our story), and we bonded and became close friends by motivating each other and working out together. Now, recently that has stopped (woe is me), but I do recommend this if you and B have the time. Aside from that, it's not something you instantly have the "bug" for. It takes a good month of consistent working out and/or running and/or swimming ... whatever. But once you get into a groove, you find yourself looking more and more forward to it. Trust me! And, hit me up anytime (twitter, email or otherwise) for motivation. I'm going through a physical challenge right now through the end of the year, and could also use motivation.

  17. I'm trying to get back into a routine. Once I *have* it, it's actually easy, but STARTING is the hard part! I'm on week 4 of 6 in the hundred push ups program, and now my friend and I are doing the Couch to 5K program together. I think the key, like WW, is to start with a small, manageable change and go from there.

  18. Well, back before I fell off the wagon the last time (sigh), I was doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. Not 30 days straight, mind you, but 3 days a week. It's the most effective 20 minutes I've ever found. Wow. If I can 'get it over with' in 20 minutes, I'm much more likely to stay with it. No gym for me because 'those people' are always on 'my' machine :-D Hmmm, so I guess I need to get back to the Shred! Love the picture of you and your niece :) -Tammy

  19. I do some lifting to get exercise...I lift the fork full of chocolate cake up to my face and then I eat it. If you do it slowly, then it's even better as far as working your muscles!
    A few years ago, I worked out five days a week, because we were members at an awesome gym. Then I had some miscarriages, stopped exercising "just in case I was pregnant", and never went back to it. Now we live in a different state, and I am a crazy germaphobe who doesn't want to touch anything at the gym. Once I figure out a solution I'll publish it and make millions. Then I can buy my own home gym and won't even need to go to the public one! :) I like to look at the bright side of any given situation.
    Seriously, though, ugh...I need to get on that bandwagon, too. :) You look great!

  20. You look mahvelous, dahling... really. The battle of the bulge has always been a struggle for me too. I had to laugh at your post about your mom putting you on a diet when you were a baby. Oh how I can relate! I have always been grateful to be 5'9" so I can "share the wealth" all over my bod-day. Sigh. This post of yours seems timely. I am embarking on a weight loss journey (aka diet - such a dirty word these days)as of yesterday. But have way more to lose than 25 pounds. May start a separate (private)blog about it. Exercise? as PW would say *crickets*. Thanks for the encouragement!

  21. You are an inspiration, girl! And absolutely beautiful. I truly can't wait to see your wedding pictures.

    I am in the process of trying to take off 25 or so. It isn't easy. But, I have to get back into my morning walk/run. I get the flu or something and stop--it has been 2 weeks right now. I miss it. I need the fresh air!

  22. #1: You are so pretty!!!
    #2: I like to run, but only 30 min like every other day. So I'm not really sick like the truly completely toxically ill runners. I wish they would contaminate me!!!
    #3 I love that you want to frame your clothes size! And that you're not the small girl who thinks she's fat (which is so un-original)! You're going to be a great role model for your future daughter(s), to be healthy, to exercise (no matter how much you hate it) and to enjoy food, especially breadchocolatecheese!!

  23. I totally just laughed out loud when I looked at my fat picture. It looks like I stretched it sideways... only I didn't.

  24. Right now clicking the mouse isn't doing it for me. I need to get back to WW as I have a butt load (literally) of weight to lose.

    I hate having my picture taken. In two weeks I have to be in front of a camera (tv) you'd think that would get me going but it's only paralyzed me and stressed me (which normally would make me eat more but at least I'm not doing that). Looking for a body suit that would conceal it all without it coming out the top around my already pudgy neck. Is it too late to schedule lipo?

  25. Oh no Amy I hate that feeling! Go out and get yourself some Spanx, pronto!

    So, what are you going to be on TV for? CAn I have your autograph?

  26. I'm the same way-I have to have a friend at the gym, or take classes, otherwise I won't go.
    I really need to get back to the gym, it's been over a month since I truly worked out. I went on a run with D and couldn't make it more than 15 min before I was wheezing and whining my fool head off. I am also finding that the older I get, the harder it is to shed pounds, even if work out all the time. Everything wants to stay around my middle, so that I always look about 3 or 4 months preggo. Should I just start lying and telling people I am? ;-)


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