Monday, November 15, 2010

So very tired


Although I'm not looking at the camera, my eyes accurately describe what it feels like during that first week with a newborn.

During the first 4 days I got approximately 7 hours of sleep. The second night in the hospital and first night at home I didn't sleep at all. At all. In fact, most of one of those nights I was so worried sick that thinking about it makes me cringe even now. There was crying and that belly filling anxiety. All was fixed in the end but the mixture of anxiety, excitement, lack of sleep and raging hormones are an interesting, if not dangerous, mix in that first week.


We were all tired. You run the risk of falling asleep whenever you are still for more than 30 seconds.

I fell asleep while using a breast pump. The suction sound woke me up as my hand started to drop. It's quite startling waking up to your breast being tugged by a machine making an awful noise.


It's hard to get used to that off and on sleep pattern that is required when you have a child. Somehow we've seemed to make it thru to week 3 and have maintained some semblance of sanity.

I can still feel these hormones raging as the emotions flit by throughout the day with no rhyme or reason. I'm not sure if I'm getting used to less sleep or I'm getting a higher quality hour but things seem to be getting easier.

I'm trying to learn to sleep when Peanut sleeps. In those first days him sleeping meant I had the chance to go to the bathroom (which seemed to be a process in itself), waking at every sound or move he made and doing something really exciting like shower. Now it means washing the bottles and nipples and pumping and staring at the ceiling wondering why I'm not asleep.

I'm so glad B & I took the time to really appreciate those late afternoon naps and lazy mornings together. It seems like such a very long time ago.


  1. Oh I remember those days and it has been a while. Shoe Queen had a hard time, right from the start, with getting to sleep in the evenings. HHBL had a much better touch with her than I did for getting her to sleep. Maybe because I was just so tired I couldn't focus.

  2. I know it's so hard. It's just so hard to put into words how exhausted you get after a baby. My advice, be lazy, you don't have to be Super Mom. Doze off and on all day. You're allowed.

  3. While the early days are SO tough, it does only get easier! Accept any offers for help you get, save your pride for another time :) Peanut is so very precious - enjoy his tininess and sweet smelling little head! All to soon he'll be taking his first pitter patter. My youngest was born a year ago and it feels like yesterday. Do what ever you need to do to stay sane, and no more for now! x

  4. Bless your heart! I remember the anxiety, I had it so bad with Q. Word of advice: Pack the baby up, go to your Mom's for the day and crawl in an empty bed. Sleep, sleep, sleep. I went to my Mom's on a daily basis for weeks after Q was born, and took a two hour nap every day. It made life a touch easier. Just a touch, mind you, but easier. Hang in there!

  5. I remember those days and for what it's worth, "this too shall pass." If there's any chance you can let someone take over for an afternoon while you sleep, go for it.

    The best feeling in the world is when you wake up one morning and realize -- we slept through the night! It will happen!

  6. It will get better. The lack of sleep thing scared me with Big Chick...I would read books and they would say by week 12 or 16 (can't remember the actual week) they would sleep through the night and I was like I CAN'T MAKE IT until week 12 or 16! But seriously it gets better. Saying a little prayer for you guys. Oh and BTW I have that same IKEA Amsterdam pic in my family room.

  7. it does get easier. I swear.
    I never really get use to the lack of sleep. I'm a monster. But you do what you can, because you have to.
    just remember, the dishes can wait. the laundry can wait.
    To be a good mommy to peanut, you need to take care of yourself first.
    Please let me know if you need anything! I'm super close and willing to help :-)

  8. I remember that early anxiety so well. I didn't sleep a wink in the hospital and anytime someone would offer me a nap, I would just go to my room and cry. It does ease up, promise. By the time six weeks rolled around, I started to feel human again. Still tired, but not like I was in danger of murdering my husband in the middle of the night while he slept.

  9. You, Craig and Peanut are in our prayers. luvuallbye

  10. The lack of sleep is agonizing. Add to that the hormones and body healing issues, breastfeeding issues and it's a wonder any mother makes it through!! You are doing so great though! Handling it all with grace and humor as usual! Things will continue to get easier. Big hugs to you!

  11. oh yes...I remember the complete come apart in the shower about week felt like there was no reason but really...recovering from physical trauma, while learning the art of bfeeding, while operating on zero sleep, while adjusting to a new body, while getting to know a little alien that looks a lot more like my husband than hindsight the complete melt down and endless tears make more sense.

    like someone above said...let people help you if they offer...take them up on it. you will offer the help freely someday to a new mom and know that the offers are genuine...people really do love to help.

    love your pictures...even the tired eyes :)

  12. hughughughughug

    It gets better. Have I mentioned this?

    I'm sorry, I haven't been checking in...


  13. I was very lucky with both my babies. They would both sleep up to 5 hrs strait at night from day one. I don't know how I did it but I was lucky. So Im not very familiar with the all nighters. I never was good at sleeping when they napped during the day either, shoot that is when I got my house duties done and maybe some me time.HA! As for the raging hormones I can relate, I had the baby blues major after having my Ryder, it lasted until he was about 4 months old. So with all the new changes and that added onto it can be so overwhelming, yes I did a lot of crying. For some reason I wanted to stay pregnant :) With my Mazie I didn't have it so bad, Im thinking cause I didn't have the time or energy to deal with that since I had a 4 yr old boy to take care of. This blog is a good way to keep your sanity for sure.

  14. You hang in there and do what you gotta do. It is hard. Sleep when he sleeps if you can, that is key. It'll all level out soon enough. It will. Just forget the rest of the world and do what you gotta do. You look great! Your hubby looks great! Your house is adorable! And Peanut is the best looking baby I've seen in a long time. He's perfect.

  15. One of these days or night or whatever - you will get 4 consecutive hours and feel like you have slept a week. It does get easier - but man, those first few weeks are rough! Peanut is sure a handsome little thing!

  16. Oh sweet girl!!!! Something kind of magical happens around week six and things begin to click all over the place. I PROMISE! Won't be long and you'll be an old pro at this... you might not be getting more sleep though. I can't promise ya that one. (I'm still NOT) But hang in there for a few more weeks. You'll be totally back to your normal self feeling in no time. I love the photo of you and peanut. Totally remember that feeling. I mean, it was only this morning, so how could I forget? Bwahahaha.

  17. Dying laughing at the breast pump story. The same exact thing happened to me. Same thing.


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