Saturday, August 28, 2010

The young, the old and the pregnant...

....have a hard time controlling their bladders.

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~31 weeks~

Reader discretion advised. Oversharing, TMI, etc.


A very wise friend once told me that pregnancy can be incredibly undignified. It's so true. Your body becomes, well all kinds of crazy things. Sometimes I'm not even sure this is my body.

Case in point: A month or so ago I was getting ready to go out with B.

I went to the bathroom, took a shower, stepped out of the shower and sneezed. Normally this wouldn't be an issue but apparently my body stored just enough liquid to make this an issue.

Baby pushing on bladder + weird pregnancy symptoms +sneezing and subsequent contraction of stomach muscles = involuntary urination.

I proceeded to turn around, turn the shower back on and clean off. B was wondering what the heck I was doing and I was wondering how in the world that happened if I just went to the bathroom.

Then there were the 3 weeks I had a cough. It's hard to really cough and clench at the same time. It's just not always possible.

Or the time I sneezed when my mom and I were in Babies R Us. I don't have dainty sneezes. Most of the time I have those loud, echoing, bionic sneezes. I had to run to the bathroom. I believe I was rude to the employee who was pleasantly asking me if I needed anything. The fun part of the Babies R Us bathroom is that they have kids mirrors and sinks. This way you can just stand there and see if the wet spot shows while you're standing or if only you can see it. It's nice to know when you need to carry your purse awkwardly as you walk to the car.

Don't even get me started on B making me laugh. I feel like I spend half my time at home running to the bathroom as I'm laughing hysterically. I'm pretty sure he likes to make me pee my pants. As if I'm not already sexy enough.

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~here I am being sexy~

Things seem to have gotten better... or maybe it's just that I've gotten over my cold. It might be that I'm in the bathroom every 30 seconds.

Perhaps I've just gotten used to it all.

Love,
Spontaneous Clenching

PS. Thanks for the good thoughts on the insulin verdict. Due to a change in insurance and a lack of the correct paperwork I was not able to see the doctor. Argh. Until I get it worked out I'm following a very strict and un-fun diet to keep things under control. Now think of me and go have a BLT and a chocolate malt.

23 comments:

  1. Oh bless you!!!! Bouncing on an exercise ball is v good for helping tone everything up! The day before Jemima was born I got a cold-there's nothing like a terrible cough after childbirth to motivate you to do pelvic floor work out!! Love you. Xxx

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  2. You're right, it's not your body anymore! But that's okay because you are seriously one cute prego mama! Most of us wish we looked that good when we were pregnant, well, the first photo anyways! ; )

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  3. I am trying not to laugh. But seriously, I have to agree with Rural Revival that you are one cute prego mama.

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  4. Haha, it's the way the cookie crumbles! Oh wait, we're not EATING cookies....

    Now, you need to read up about doing what are called kegel exercises (never too late to start, and it'll help with pushing later) - and the exercise ball like Alice suggested works good, too! Trust me, you want your kegel muscles toned for what's next to come!

    You look stinkin' cute!

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  5. Hehe :) 'Here I am being sexy' is cracking me up.

    Well, the whole post, actually. My mom gave the best advice of my life to me while I was pregnant, and now I'll pass it on to you. It also bears repeating after childbirth for the first -- oh -- 4 years or so.

    Advice:
    When you feel a sneeze, laugh, cough, or tickle coming on, SIT DOWN immediately. It's much more easier for your clench muscles to do their thang when they're seated :)

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  6. Could you BE any cuter?? Seriously you should've seen me pregnant...not cute!

    Oh and it doesn't get any better after you have the little one. For the first six months after having little chick I peed my pants major during every run!! I had to start wearing a pad:o

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  7. I was 40 and a half weeks and I thought my water had broken while we were out on a walk.

    My husband quickly ushered me home, and I went and lay down. He stood over me expectantly in the bedroom as I waited to see if I had a contraction or if more water was leaking.

    After a few minutes of nothing happening, I said meekly "so, um... I think I just peed myself."

    He just shook his head like it was the most sad/pathetic thing in the world.

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  8. Dude. I. Love. You. "Spontaneous Clenching!" HAHAHA.
    By the way, I'm actually having bread for breakfast this morning. It's my way of showing you how freakin awesome I think you are.

    MUAH!!!

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  9. Only you could manage to look super hot at 31 weeks pregnant. I mean, really!!! Love your top, love the boots--soooooo cute, Hot Momma! :o)

    The second photo made me laugh!

    So glad you brought up the peeing thing! Holy cow, after Bug, I was peeing every time I worked out! It was a joke between me and a friend of mine--I had to wear only black exercise shorts because they'd be peed on for sure by the end of the workout.

    It did get better tho, with time. Then I went and got pregnant again. With twins, I might as well have just walked around with a toilet attached to my legs.

    But things are back to normal once again. (Well, as normal as they can be). :o)

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  10. You are so funny. Yes, your body is no longer your own. Strange things happen while you are pregnant. Pantyliners are your friend.
    And you look adorable. :::hugs:::

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  11. Maybe now is not the best time to tell you what happens to your belly button after pregnancy. Oh, the indecencies!

    It was great meeting you last night. You make pregnancy so cute!

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  12. You are so stinkin adorable! Seriously, you are one of those cute, pregnant people who just look so tiny and cute with just a little basketball in your tummy. Thank God you pee your pants now and then or the rest of us might have to hate you!

    P.S. If you think pregnancy is undignified, wait till postpartum when you pretty much bare your boobs to whoever is around when that baby is hungry, or, God forbid you need the help of a lactation consultant (a.k.a the Boob Nazis or the Titty Twisters as they were known in my house!) Let me just say that I have never, and hope to never again, had my boob handled in such a way. Hugs!

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  13. Pregnancy is just so much fun, isn't it?! Parenting has a way of humbling us, even before the baby is born. I hope you're diet isn't too hard on you...you're almost there! Yipee!
    ☺ Celeste

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  14. I'm just loving reading all these comments! Only you could unite so many people and only you could make it all about peeeeee!!! xxx

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  15. Sorry to tell you that the sneeze/cough/pee triangle may not disappear even after the peanut comes. I still grab myself between the legs when I feel either of those things coming on, just in case.....

    You look so cute! You definitely have a boy baby belly! My mother always said that women carry big ball all out in front, whereas girls are carried with the belly shaped more like a barrel--all thick through the trunk, less distinct ball shape. I have seen her theory verified many, many times but of course there is always someone with a basketball belly who has a girl and vice versa. But in this case you sure do confirm her theory.

    P.S. Love your boots!

    Jaxx

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  16. You are flipping adorable!!!! Oh my gosh. I can't even tell you how cute you are. You just ARE!!!

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  17. I like the new layout! Anyway don't feel too bad - totally normal. I just kept an extra pair of pants in the car at all times...it became a habit!

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  18. I love you photo. You are too cute Dawn!

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  19. Great meeting you on Friday! Loved your outfit! So stylish!!! :) Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'll be following you on your adventures now! Look forward to hearing more funny pregnancy TMI. And just wait til you go into labor and get the epidoral! You fart uncontrollably! It's GREAT!!! LOL! :)

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  20. Three things...
    1. I love the new blog!
    2. As always, you have a gift of sharing stories in the most hilarious way... :)
    3. That outfit is so cute!! (I think I have the same cardigan thingy from Urban, but you pull it off 1000x better than I do.) You are seriously the prettiest & most stylish little pregnant lady ever! :)

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  21. You always make me laugh. And, good Lord, your hair is gorgeous!

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  22. LOL, you're a riot.
    ~ingrid

    Btw, I like your new look...for the blog I mean. :)

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