Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What's in your mouth?


Have I mentioned that my baby is a human vacuum?

Actually, now that I think about it I did.

It was in that post about breastfeeding and my infant Hoover sucking the life out of me. 

Well, those Hoover tendencies have grown as he's gotten older.

He crawls around the floor just looking around for things to put in his mouth.

Lint, string, grass, someone's shoe, any and all toys, 
whatever he can find in the tracks of the sliding glass doors,
dried remnants of food he's thrown into far corners of the apartment....

I say, "Peanut, what do you have?" and he shoves it into his mouth before I can take it.

He likes to eat paper.
Half of our board books are missing corners.

I'm telling you, we spend so much of the first months making sure that things are clean,
it's quite a shock when you turn around and see him licking the bottom of your shoe... 
or the stroller wheel.

Are you totally cringing right now?
I know.

He really just sucks on this stuff but does't seem to swallow it.
At least, I haven't been finding any treasure in his diapers.

A few weeks ago he was playing in the corner of the room.  
I checked and there was't anything for him to get into so I just let him be.

He had a toy that he was squishing against the wall as he babbled quietly to himself.
When he turned around I could see something stick out of the corner of his mouth.

Do you know what it was?


You know, those staples that are like 2 inches long with sharp edges that could do 
unbelieveable damage to little mouths and digestive systems.

He just opened his mouth and smiled while snagged it off his tongue.


He must have pulled it from the carpet in the corner.
Stupid craptastic apartment carpet. 

It still freaks me out.

Oh baby Hoover, what am I going to do you?


  1. Such a sweet face. Impossible to stay mad isn't it?!! Kids do weird things--and grow up normal. One of the ironies of life.

  2. Oh my goodness ,,,such a scary time when they want to eat ,,,just everything!!! A carpet staple - "Peanut!!!"

  3. AHHHH!! A carpet staple! That's scary! Did I tell you Tristan put a dead fly in his mouth? By the time I figured out what was going on, the fly body parts had been slightly munched on. The head was perched on Tristan's lip...and then I found a leg on his tongue....where was the rest of it?!?!?! AHHHH!!!! Why must babies do this????

  4. After you guys left the party, Molly ate an entire peice of chalk. RED chalk. I though the cake was messy. Her mouth was so red, she looked like Hannibal Lecter.

  5. First- I LOVE that picture of him, so cute! And I am dying laughing at this post and the comments before mine! E is the same way, anything and everything- but she gets really ticked when we take it out of her mouth! And what is with the shoes- I can't leave them out anymore because she likes to chew on the toes! I swear these kids are just trying to give us a heart-attack! Hope you are getting some good sleep :)

  6. Doesn't it scare you to death to think of all the "harmless" things they put in their mouths, and how devastatingly painful it could be if they ingested it?!

    Adrienne always seems to find the pointiest of items to put in her mouth, and she never gives it up willingly. I usually end up turning her upside down and shaking it loose from her mouth before she is able to swallow the pointy, sharp, bound-to-get-stuck-in-her-throat object.

    Motherhood is the scariest job on Earth.

  7. OK first, THAT PICTURE. I want to eat your baby. (Figuratively speaking of course. Cannibalism is frowned upon. It's also 5:30 in the morning, so please forgive me my weirdness.)

    Second, carpet staples!!! Holy crap I would have freaked too... glad you snagged it. As for the stroller wheels/shoes... well... just think of all the antibodies he's building up, right? hahahaha


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