Monday, September 20, 2010

Forget the birds and the bees

Parental Discretion Advised!

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This is the book to have. Printed in 1975 and apparently my brother's book, this resurfaced and I just couldn't see it thrown away.

I'm going to show you some of the pictures from the book. I am not going to show you all of the pictures because I don't want to get banned from blogger. :)

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"Try not to be embarassed. These changes happen to everyone."

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"But first a word from your hormones..."

This part talks about your lively hormones, what hormones are and what they do.

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"Puberty is pretty much the same the whole world over."

This is the portion of the book where I started to laugh hysterically. They tackle "the world's most embarassing questions" and believe me... there are a lot of embarassing questions.

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"You and your breasts, the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

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"Breasts, like women, come in all shapes and sizes."

I'd say that mine used to fall in line with lady #5 but then I had the lumpectomy and they now fall in the direction of lady #4 and I'm thinking after Peanut is born they I'll have one in it's original state (due to radiation) and the other in the state of perhaps lady #2.

And you know I'll tell you all about it because I am learning that what filter I had is just wearing away.

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On top of the embarassing questions they talk about things like body odor and pimples. Can't leave those out.

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Bwahahaha! A little story for you. Once when I was little, my mom and I were browsing thru a jewelry store when I spotted an Italian horn pendant like this.

I pointed and very loudly announced Sperm!

And then we left the store.

Apparently it's also called Cornicello and is some type of protectional charm. I still think it looks like a sperm.

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I'm telling you, the best parts aren't even posted.

I'm so glad I don't have to think about these things for a long, long time. If you do, I'd be happy to send you over some more visual aids. Heh.

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13 comments:

  1. Oh. My. Gosh. That is just hilarious and it must be preserved.

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  2. That's hilarious! I need to get something like that for my daughter, she is 11 and the women in our family mature early ;-)

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  3. L to the O to the L. The caption above the sperm just about made me choke on my coffee. Then I clicked on the pendant link...HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Ahem.

    :P

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  4. Of course, I had to check out the pendant..
    too funny! That book is a classic. Yes, you must hold on to it! I love how it's done w/ such humor - something very helpful when discussing "those" topics :D -T

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  5. That is sooooo funny. I had this talk with Big chick a while ago. I included everything...like childbirth, menstration etc.... She was interested. Her final response to it all was ewwwwwww!

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  6. Hey, I love those pendants... but now I won't ever be able to appreciate the same way! ;p

    You should totally check out Babette Cole's "Mommy Laid an Egg." I got it when J was still a baby... not for him, but more for me. It was totally hilarious! I'm just praying now that I remember where I put it before J finds it and reads it before he's ready!

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  7. I have this book. I bought it for my kids... Now grown. I have to say my very, very, very favorite drawings are the drawings in the locker room. Hehehe... So true. I think it is a wonderful book.

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  8. That has got to be the BEST book ever. Hehehe. I totally identify with Lady #5. I'm going to have to find me a copy of this book for my kids when they hit that age.

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  9. Haha!! That is sooo funny!! Oh.my.goodness, do I really have to talk about that stuff with my kids?!?!?! Without laughing?!?!?!

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  10. You'll be surprised exactly how quickly that book will come in handy!

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  11. That is hilarious. Wouldn't that book embarrass someone going through puberty? It is funny as an adult. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. I am DYING laughing over these illustrations. I LOVE it! Of course, I want to see those other pictures.

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  13. Oh my word! My mil gave my husband a book by the same auther/illustrator when he was little and it's called "Where did I come from?" It's hilarious and obscenely graphic. I can only imagine the pictures you left out! Ha!
    ☺ Celeste

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