Monday, March 29, 2010

Chemo-fied Eggs

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I often say that cancer is the gift that keeps on giving because it seems as though the effects of having cancer last forever. After nearly 16 months of treatments there were and still are the follow-ups with the oncologist, the surgeon and the radiation oncologist. Add that to the regular doctor and dentist visits and I could be in an office monthly. The most profound effect of cancer has been on my reproductive system. You see, chemo kills everything in its path and it doesn't care about your eggs.

In discussing my treatment plan before chemo I asked the doctor about the effect it would have on my fertility. He replied that there would be no babies without a mommy. Simply, if you don't live this won't be an issue. We thought briefly of harvesting eggs at $10,000 a pop but the focus was just on getting me started in treatment. We didn't really look into saving the eggs. I might not have done things the same way now but there isn't any use in looking back.

Several months into treatment I stopped menstruating. It's called chemo-induced menopause.

Oh menopause, what every 27 year old wants to go thru. I have 2 words for you. Hot.Flashes. Also known as my own personal hell in which you literally fry from the inside out. This lasted for months and months. Even when I would eventually start spotting again, the hot flashes stayed for so much longer.

The result of chemofying my eggs was irregular menstruation, one inactive ovary and lots of guessing as too whether they would recover. Hello little friends, are you in there? Are you awake? Are you ready to jump into action?

About a year and a half ago my gynecologist told me that I would probably be in full menopause by the time I hit 40 years old. As peri-menopause (when your fertility starts to decrease) can start up to 10 years ahead and I was 29, I had better get a move on. We were told that conceiving would be a tough road for us. We weren't even sure it was a possibility. There is no way of telling how damaged your remaining eggs are. My poor little chemofied ovaries. So we wanted to get started right away. B and I wanted to make sure that we gave ourselves the time to try before we had to move on to the next step. Whatever the next step is.

Friends and family offered words of support and pregnancy became a different type of subject around us. What if? Can we? Will I? How? Why? When?

So here we are.

We've been married for less than 4 months and naturally.....


I'm pregnant.
:)

45 comments:

  1. I knew it!!!! Easy to say now, but just yesterday I thought to myself, Dawn hasn't posted in awhile, I bet she's pregnant. Yay!!!!!

    I am so happy for you and B! You so deserve this and you know, I can already see you guys as parents. I have for awhile. : )

    Two people, so in love, expecting a miracle. And a miracle it is. Even after almost eleven years, I still marvel at it myself.

    Congratulations and I am so looking forward to hearing about your pregnancy journey.

    Hugs and blessings to you and B. ~Andrea~

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  2. !!!!!!!!!!

    CONGRATS!!! That is absolutely amazing after all you've been through and I'm so happy for you!

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  3. Yeah!!! Congratulations!! So many questions and now an answer. I hope all goes well during the pregnancy. Lets get together soon!

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  4. SOOOO EXCITING!! I was getting all bummed out the more I read your post and then blam! Love a happy ending or should I say beginning! Congrats to you all!

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  5. I am SO HAPPY for you!!! Those doctors can't give all the answers, now can they?! Congratulations, many, MANY times over. Sigh. So happy :)

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  6. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I won't even pretend to contain my excitement!!! I'm actually just pissed that I wasn't the first to comment on this post!!!!

    AHHHHHH! (Trust me, that is a good sound coming from me.)

    Tell B, "Good job," from me. Because for some reason, men like to congratulate themselves.

    Oh my word.

    Dawn is knocked up!! :)

    Giggle, snicker, snort.

    Did I mention that I'm really excited?

    Cause I am!!! YAY!!

    (I'm not even sitting at this point to type it... typing and standing is hard work.)

    I'm calling Adrain right now. (I have to tell someone!!)

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  7. YAYYYYYYYYYYY! Oh I am so excited to read this, girl!!! Grinning ear to ear, praise the Lord!

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  8. That's so awesome. Congratulations!

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  9. Big hugs from Texas! This is spectacular news!

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  10. OH MY WORD! That's incredible! I am so happy for you!!!
    ☺☺☺ Celeste ☺☺☺

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  11. I am so happy for you both! Doctors only know what they are taught. God knows all, and he knew what amazing parents you would be. What a beautiful gift.

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  12. Congrats sweetie!!! I am so happy for you guys... Wow what a blessing, I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy. Big SMILES!
    Smooches,
    Andrea

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  13. eeeeeeeeeeee!!! the tight lip is gone, whew! I am so excited!!! WHOOOO you did it! heh heh

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  14. Oh my that's fantastic news!!!!! I'm clapping spontaneously right now for you!

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  15. Yahoooooooooo!!!!! Oh my gosh I am so excited for you. I was just hoping that was what you were going to say when I got to the end of the post.

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  16. Oh my gosh---so happy for you---clapping along with you---I hope you aren't feeling too green---I just wondered where you had been---hmph! YIPPEE!!! for you and your sweetie!

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  17. YOU ARE KIDDING ME! I literally teared up when I read that you were pregnant--it totally took me by surprise because everything you'd been through seemed so daunting. congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How wonderful for you and your husband!!!!!!!!

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  18. Yay!!!!! Congrats! I'm sooo happy for your :D Your baby is going to be so cute! (I just know it!)

    p.s. Your post title was kind of misleading...hehehe

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  19. Oh My Goodness, CONGRATULATIONS. That is so incredibly awesome, I am so happy for you. You're baby is going to be so gorgeous, just like you. That is just the best news. I came over here to let you know that I had given you a beautiful blogger award, but nothing can compare with that great news. Wow, so exciting.

    Take Care Mommy, Carrie

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  20. Oh, Dandy D.! I'm so happy for you. This kind of makes me want to cry. Can I just tell you that I think you will be the best Mom?!! Congrats to you and B!! And this is one story, that I can't wait to follow!! Sending Midwest Love to California!

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  21. OMG!! Dandy, I am ecstatic for you! You are absolutely darling and such an inspiration to me in so many ways.

    Lots of love to you :)

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  22. Yee Haw!! All I knew was I missed my friend Dawn - I've been trying to take a bloggy break. It never really happens.. I just can't stay away that long :) Anyway, so I pop on over here and.. WOW!! Congrats... woo hoo... sooo excited for you!! Best possible news. I needed some good news and I'm glad it was this. Very happy for both of you :) -Tammy

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  23. *GASP* I *knew* it!!!! :) Congrats my friend... start picking quilt colors!!

    Oh I'm so excited for you... you guys are gonna be GREAT parents, and oh...

    F*** YOU CANCER. YOU DIDN'T WIN!!!!!!

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  24. I am so very happy for you!!! Having children and raising them has been one of the best things I have ever done! My babies are 20 and 23.

    I am sending many good thoughts! Congrats.

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  25. I'm so happy for you Dawn. I'm BALLING right now! We MUST get together soon!-Holly

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  26. I'm so happy for you and B! The little one is one it's way! Congratulations to the both of you. How are you feeling?

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  27. Congratulations! What exciting news!

    A classmate of mine had chemo in junior high and while he survived (the most important part!), he and his wife couldn't conceive. They're currently in the process of adopting their second child and love parenthood. =)

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  28. OH MY GOODNESS! I am crying. Congratulations! I hope that you are feeling okay, and that it's not too rough, but my guess is that whatever comes your way you will be rejoicing at the blessing through the tiredness or whatever you might be experiencing. Again, congratulations!

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  29. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I wish the font could be bigger and bolder!!)

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
    I'm sure you heard me scream way out there in Californ-I-A!!

    You had me girl! I was sucked in by your every word and I even hesitated several times with reading on, dreading bad news! (I'm so excited, I can't type! So many typos!)

    Words cannot tell just how excited I am for you! Oh you'll be a WONDERFUL mother and B, of course, will be one terrific dad!

    Hope that you're feeling well.

    Now go put your feet up, drink some milk, snuggle up and take a nap!

    YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
    Thanks for making my day!

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  30. Yay! This baby definitely will have lots of blog aunties ... and I'm proud to be one!

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  31. Oh, Dawn, I am so excited for you and B!
    Fantastic!
    Wonderful!
    Absolutely, absolutely happy!

    P.S. I appreciate your posting the photo in the chemo chair ... good visual of where you (and I) have been. Some will tell you such a photo induces memories and feelings of nausea. But that is not so in my case. I just like the human connection the photo presents.

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  32. How exciting!! I thought this was going to be a depressing post where you needed a lift up, but you are probably pretty high now! How awesome!!

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  33. This is fricken fantastic, and yes I just used the word fricken!! I am soo excited for you, as I knew something was up, since you have been kinda MIA lately!! I cannot wait to hear all of your adventures and baby stories, I bet they will be good, now you take good care of yourself, and call if you need anything!! :)

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  34. So the cat is out of the bag!! :) I can shout my CONGRATS to you now!

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  35. Oh, huge congratulations!!!! I haven't been on my blog for awhile so therefore I haven't been on YOUR blog and therefore I had no idea until just now. That's so amazingly fantastic!

    There really aren't enough exclamation points here. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a little better. :)

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  36. Hee hee. Life really is just fantastic!! We've already talked about this, but I just had to tell you here too. YES!!!! YIPPIE!!!!!!!!

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  37. AHHHHHHHHHHH! So excited for you! I just checked in with your blog today and I saw the prune entry and I was like, wait what did I miss?? :-) I'm so happy you two didn't have to struggle. I'm looking forward to reading all about your pregnancy journey. That little fetus is a lucky one with all the yummy food you eat!!

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  38. OMG!! Hun, I'm so happy for you! Congratulations! I can't imagine how excited you guys must be!

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  39. Hahha! I LOVE the way you told us!! Through the whole post, I was like, is she gonna say it? WHEN is she gonna say it! Maybe this isn't the tell-us post. Maybe this is the lead-in post. And then--last line--you tell us! HA!! YAYAAYYAA!!! I'll spare you all the uppercase letters I used in the reply email....

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  40. OH MY GOSH! I have been with the internet due to an outage in our area and I am behind in my blog reading! (as you can see) CONGRATS! I am grinning ear to ear. I wondered where you had been and now I know. WOO HOO!

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  41. CONGRATULATIONS!! I am so happy and excited for you!

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  42. Holy Cow! Congrats! I should have started catching up from the last post! Now I understand that dream LOL!

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  43. Dawn! I am so very happy for you both! What a wonderful story ... yours just keeps getting better and better! How far along are you? I just started my second trimester last week, and am SOOO excited, as I am SURE you are as well.

    I can't wait to hear more about it as the months pass by. :-)

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