A Stranger in an SUV

About 2 years ago I was in the midst of my chemo experience.

I was bald but lucky enough to keep most of my eyelashes and eyebrows during that time.

I had a wig I wore at work. I never really felt comfortable in a wig. It didn't feel like the real me. So mostly I was bald or wore a hat or bandana.

Sometime around Christmas 2007 I was sitting in traffic at the "orange crush".

The orange crush is a horrid spot where 3 freeways merge and you feel like you may be destined to live out your days sitting there, creeping, gas, brake, gas, brake. As a frequent commuter I have a pet peeve regarding the courtesy of drivers in traffic.

You see, I wait patiently to merge. OK, not always, but semi-patiently.
My pet peeve is when someone tries to bypass the waiting line by driving up the side and forcing their way in ahead. Oh it happens. They just make up their own lane. Don't do that!

Didn't your momma teach you not to cut in line?!

I'm serious, it makes me mad.

I'm sorry, I'd like to take a moment for some deep breaths, possibly some chanting. OK, I feel better now.


On this particular day I had been sitting in traffic for about 40 minutes.

It was just starting to move when I noticed a white SUV creeping up the side.

What the heck is he doing?! We just merged into this lane and now he wants to get ahead of me?!

I turn to look at him and he is smiling.

Why is he smiling?!

And then something totally unexpected happened.

He gave me a thumbs up.

What is going on here?

He gently touched his head.

As a reaction I touched mine. I suddenly remembered I was bald.

I remembered that people notice a bald head.

I remembered that its a sign of what is going on in my life.

All this was just to give me a thumbs up?

I smiled back. I was still surprised.

He gave me another quick thumbs up as he pulled back into line.

A minute later I lost him in the sea of vehicles heading home.

I laughed, I clapped, I cried a little bit.

This man, this stranger in a SUV, saw me and wanted to show his support.

On a busy freeway, in the frustration of gridlock he looked over at me and thought of a gesture that would say "Hey good for you for rocking the bald head" or "You can do this, you can keep going" or "Whatever you are up against, people you don't even know are behind you"

I wish I had understood sooner what he was doing.

I wish I could have touched my heart to let him know what that thumbs up meant.

In reality I probably had more of a confused, blank look.

I like to think that he caught a glimpse of me beaming as he pulled back.

Wherever you are sir, I still think of you.

I will always remember the look on your face.

I will always remember the simple thumbs up you gave me and the huge impact it had.

Thank you.